...weddings and judgments and beers, oh my!

So, I'm sitting here listening to some classical music, trying to calm the hell down, thinking about what I'd rather be doing and how I don't [[exactly]] have the means to do it.

Where to start, where to start...

I guess I'll start by expanding a bit on what I posted earlier today.  If you've ever seen "I Love You, Man" you'll understand this.  For those of you who haven't, make sure to, it's great.  [[You can keep reading too, if you want, it's not like seeing the movie is a requirement for understanding the rest of this.]]  Basically, I'm like the main character.  The groom.  Though, I don't have a soon to be bride.  Oh, and I don't think I'm at the happy ending point of a full wedding party.  I'm the beginning groom.  The friendless.  The boy-friendless.  The girls love being my friend guy.  I really don't like this.  I honestly don't know who would be in my wedding party if I were to get married right now.  I mean, there's my dad.  I guess he'd be in the party.  At this point it'd probably be in the best man spot.  And I don't want to be one of those guys.  Even my sister's fiancée has a best man who isn't his father.  Dustin could be there, but really, we don't talk as much anymore. Bradley is cool, but we're on and off again.  Maybe if he asks me to be in his wedding.  I don't talk to David as much anymore, and we really were never "bffs" to begin with.  Same with Nate.  And then there are the small group guys.  Hmm.  Nope.  I grew apart from almost all of them.  I have no highschool friends really.  And not many JMU guy friends, at least not many that would be considered "wedding worthy."  If I could pick out my party now, I'd probably go with Rachel, Amanda, Courtney, and Alyson.  Oh, wait, those are all girls.  Damn.  Then again, why does it matter, right?  It's not like I'm getting married any time soon ever.  [[No, I don't want to talk about it.  Actually, I do, but don't.  Meh, later.]]

All right, next topic.  Judging others.  One thing I learned from my four years at JMU was that judging others gets you nowhere.  There's no point in judging.  Yeah, it happens and will always happen, but basing the rest of a relationship on initial judgment is ignorant.  I honestly try to accept everyone as they are, no matter if they are opposite my beliefs or opinions.  I believe I can learn from anyone and everyone.  Everyone has something to share with the world.  [[That really wasn't where I was going with this whole paragraph.  I'm going to try again.]]

I want to have someone to go to with issues and/or struggles [[both current and previous]].  I want that someone who I can lay out my life situation and either get their opinions or even just have them only listen.  I want this person to be older, wiser.  A mentor, perhaps.  I have the person in mind, honestly.  The person I actually value the opinion of.  The person I feel could be helpful in any situation...with the exception of one specific one going on at the moment.  In an ideal world, I would be able to go before this person [[let's call him Brett]] and just lay out everything.  All my feelings.  Emotions.  Thoughts.  Everything.  He would listen. Give advice.  Give wisdom.  Give an ear.  Instead, what would happen would be more like I'd lay it out and get judged instantaneously.  And then I'd need to be fixed.  And everyone would know.  And I would rather that not happen.  So, now I'm back to the beginning.  Friendless.  Male friendless.  Mentorless.  Full of words and emotions and outletless.

*Sigh*

Now, the beer comment.  Well, I'm going to have to wait on that one.  See how it all pans out.  It could be interesting.  Maybe I'll grow a pair and just let it all out.  HA!  How epic would that be?  Not going to happen.  But the epicness of it would be, well, epic.

Thanks for reading.

/emotional spew