The words you are about to read are enhanced thoughts and are being propelled out of my fingers by exhaustion. Enjoy.
I'm leaving soon. Leaving so many things, and I am excited. Friday is my last day of work at the credit union. Honestly, it's been one of my least favorite jobs (not that I've really had many...), but I have learned quite a bit about life and myself. I know that headed back to JMU for my masters is where I need to be. I know I want to go into the higher education administration field even more than when I applied. And I've learned that I am ever so gracious that I didn't get into school right after graduation in 2010. As fun as that would have been, I definitely wouldn't have worked as hard as I plan on working now.
And since we're on the subject of school....I'm ready. But am I really? This is a new/not new experience for me. While I'm headed back to a school and place where I'm familiar, I'm headed back with new expectations, both for my school and myself. I'm headed into a situation where I will (possibly/potentially/hopefully) become (extremely?) close to a group of like-minded people in the same situation as me. They don't know me. I don't know them. I have the opportunity to be anyone I choose to be. But after really thinking at the beach (the best place to think ever!) I've decided that if I'm going to be anyone, I'm going to be me. Why attempt to be anyone else?
So, that being said, I've really thought about what I want to accomplish over the next two years (beside the degree, obviously). I want to be myself 100%. At the moment I don't know who that fully is, but by striving to be me and not who I think I'm wanted to be I'll learn exactly who I am and where I am. And I'm hella excited for that (yeah, Gwen, throwing out your words). Another thing I want to accomplish is learning to accept myself, flaws and all. I want to build my self-confidence and self-worth back to where it was oh so long ago. I want to believe that people will accept me the way I am. I know most people do, but I don't actually believe it. You know? Maybe you don't, I don't know. I look around me and see people acting different ways around different people just to fit in. I do that. Hell, we all do, but I don't want to define my life that way. I just want to be me and be accepted by those who accept it and love on the ones who don't, but not let it get to me. I honestly don't need to be liked by everyone (something I've already learned and am quite comfortable), I just want to make sure the person they don't like is the right person.
Now that I've been ridiculously repetitive...
I'm also leaving home and moving into an apartment with a guy I'm so excited to get to know better. This will be my first true off campus living experience. I'm so looking forward to it.
I'm excited to see where the next two years takes me. I'm ready to take myself to new heights and way out of my comfort zone. I'm psyched to leave old things behind and truly be myself.
Word.
Now, for today's music. The following songs were chosen by random selection based on random words. I enjoyed what happened....a lot.
Last Words by The Real Tuesday Weld
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgN40rcfcBc&ob=av2e
People C'mon by Delta Spirit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6xCBKb5G0A
Blue Beard by Band of Horses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qae9_7jvMxE
Bloods on Fire by Pinback
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxBC1gK5DB8
Blanketed Fortress by Darkroom
http://grooveshark.com/#/s/Blanketed+Fortress/2QoW1q?src=5
Oh Boy! by Buddy Holly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwHrx0r0t2s&feature=related
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