...just because he breathes...

Again...it's been a while.  Sorry.  Kind of.

Anyway, as some of you may know, I have recently joined the "real world" by assuming a role as an academic and career counselor at the University of Mary Washington.  A lot of transition has taken place with this, including: a move, new friends, new responsibilities, etc.

But this is not a post about that; it'll come later (whenever I get internet at my house...).

This post is based off of this article.  If you don't like to read, you can watch here.  I would suggest doing both, actually.


So...if you're new to me.  New to reading here.  Or just unable to read into some of the things I say (sometime obviously, sometimes not).  I'll lay it out in plainer (is that a word?) terms:
I'm not straight.
Okay... But what does that mean?  Meh, that's for a different post.  All that anyone really needs to know is that when it comes to love and relationships, boys are allowed and (most all of the time) preferred.  For most people, that means gay.  But, again, another post for another time.

What I want to focus on today is how much the previous article means to me.  I am a Christian.  I have written about that many times.  I miss, miss, miss RISE Harrisonburg so much.  And I'm looking for something now that is any sort of way comparable.

With that comes the fact that my parents are Christian as well....with a touch more Southern Baptist in them than I have.

So, there lies the connection I have to this video.  While I may not be going off the deep end in the same way  Ryan did, I understand what it is that pushed him toward the drugs and alcohol and separation from his family and God.

I get it.

I love my family.  I know they love me.  But they are Ryan's parents...pre-runaway and pre-death.  They love me so much, and now that I have come out to them as something other than straight, they continue to love me.  Woo!  I know it could have been a lot worse from their end.

But what they don't know is the toll it took on me to have to deal with my sexuality and my religion on my own.  Growing up in a small-ish, conservative, God fearing town made it horrible to ever think I could be anything other than a straight, Christian, manly acting male.  Grant it, I have always struggled with that last part...but then again, who the Hell can tell me what's manly and what's not...and why do I need to act any sort of way other than how I want and feel comfortable... (okay, that piece of the rant is done...for now).

So, yeah, I relate.

But I just wish my parents could, too.  I wish they could see what it is that their current incessant prayers for straightness and girlfriends and changing is doing.  How it doesn't help back up the ideas that they love me (which I have NO doubt they do) the same as before.  I know they love me...it's just different.  It changes things a bit.

So why did I post this?  Hell, I don't know.  I don't think there is anyone who actually reads this blog that is a parent of a gay child.  Or a lot of Christian parents.  Or anyone, really.

I think why I posted is to help myself talk through some things.... and maybe convince myself to send the article and video to my parents and ask them their thoughts.  Or, not even their thoughts, but just to watch it. And really read it.  And know that, yes, I could have gone a totally different route than I am currently going, but at the same time, I want them to know that they are doing things that aren't helping me along as much as they think they might be.  I want them to know that I love God.  I love Jesus.  We're awesome right now, and we have been for a bit, and I want my parents to know that I'm not going to be turned straight because of their prayers.  I'm not going to be denied the wonders of Heaven when I die because I may enter into a romantic, physical, psychological, loving relationship with another guy.  I want them to know that I want them to pray for me...to continue to grow close to God, to continue to have a deep desire to help those who are overlooked and beaten down.  I want them to pray that I find a true, happy relationship.

I want them to pray that they don't lose me.  I want them to thank God for giving me the strength to stay strong for them.  I want them to pray that they will be able to accept whomever it is that I fall in love with...just as much as they have accepted my brother-in-law.

I think that's why I wrote this post.

That and because no matter who you are...where you come from...what you believe.......you should love everyone, just because they breathe.  Advice well worth taking.

Today's Playlist
See The Sun -- The Kooks
Flightless Bird American Mouth -- Iron & Wine
You Could Be Happy -- Snow Patrol
Detlef Schrempf -- Band of Horses
I Will Follow You Into the Dark -- Death Cab for Cutie
Love Affair -- Copeland
Casimir Pulaski Day -- Sufjan Stevens
No One's Gonna Love You -- Band of Horses
Someone Like You -- Adele
Holocene -- Bon Iver
Paradise -- Coldplay
Orange Sky -- Alexi Murdoch